I blogged this two years ago but obviously need a refresher: everyone thinks they’re a fraud. At least some of the time. I didn’t actually realise that until I read a book my sister lent me – I used to think it was just me. The magic book is a musician’s book but wonderful for any performer, and yes, most of us, probably all of us, actually, are performers in some sense of the word.
We tell ourselves so many lies and half-truths. “I can’t play that fast. I can’t play slow music well. I can’t hit that high note without clutching. I can’t memorize well. I’m a lousy sight-reader. This passage is going too well–I’ll probably blow it. Oops, here comes that spot–I’ll never make it through. Everyone else can play more difficult music than I can. I’m just a phony who has bluffed my way to the top and they’ll find me out. (Eloise Ristad, A Soprano on her Head)
I’ve been telling myself “I can’t X” and “I can’t Y” a few too many times today. Good thing I caught myself doing it.