A few days ago, I received an odd email, apparently a followup to a first mail that I don’t think I ever received. I almost deleted it instantly as spam, but after a second glance I decided to try that URL. It is written by a man who is seeking his replacement. What he does, exactly, is however not made clear. Look, here’s the email:

The website is not a lot more elucidating, but the Latin title of the website, Moderari et tueri omnia (regulate and protect all) and the introductory text, it appears that the job is quite important:

While I cannot tell you the specifics of this arrangement, I can say my daily tasks are vital to everything. And by everything I mean exactly what the word implies. Without the simple and reoccurring tasks I complete, what you know now will no longer be.

The majority of the website is devoted to a lengthy questionnaire made in Google Forms. There are many questions. I believe many of those who might begin to answer would be put off by the complicated responses required:

A grocery store near your house is having a sale on breakfast cereals. The hobby store next door has run out of specialty dice, but has an overstock of scale replica airplanes. And while the parking lots trees are mature it appears the birds are avoiding them. Please explain how all these events are related.

When I shared the link on Facebook a friend pointed out I should beware lest answering the questions committed me to pushing a button every two hours like on Lost. I suspect something more closely resembling superheroes might be behind this though:

Do you have full freedom of movement or have access to devices enabling basic tasks such as pressing and pulling?
Note: you will be asked to fight in a strength enhancing suit. So answer accordingly.

However there are a few references to buttons and levers as well.

If anyone has the patience or creativity to actually answer all the questions and submit the form, I would love to hear whether you receive any response.

2 thoughts on “Google form fiction (at least, one assumes it is fiction)

  1. Kim

    This is funny. I did answer all these questions, and I submitted them. It took me a while, ten minutes a day for a whole week, to answer the questions, but I finally did answer it. It makes me think a lot more now. I’m so curious as to what it is.

  2. Josh

    It will be tricky, I submitted a completed form, but he states he will only respond to those closest to his responses, we shall see….

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