See, this is why it’s important to carefully plan one’s blogging oeuvre:

There’s no need to be a celebrity blogger before you start. Gertrude Stein was sent rejection letter after rejection letter – up until the publication of her autobiography. So put your blog to good use!

Rules suggested for the aspiring self-promoting autobiographer include “Rule #2. A Good Advertisement Is Easy to Understand.” Lenart-Cheng notes, again in relation to Gertrude Stein, that “The fact that her autobiography has often been called ‘the one book by G. S. that an ordinary person can read’ is the best proof of the success of this compromise.” (page 123) One might consider following Stein in writing one’s autobiography in the third person, staging it as the autobiography of a devoted friend and admirer. This allows one to avoid violating the taboo of self-praise. Instead one can have one’s friend write things like “I met Gertrude Stein. . . . I may say that only three times in my life have I met a genius and each time a bell within me rang and I was not mistaken.” If you want to do this in your blog by writing your own comments to your own blog posts, do be careful, it’s important not to lose your balance here.

Now, where blogs may truly rule in this genre is in their constant updating. You see, Rule #4 states that “A Good Advertisement Has to Be Repeated Over and Over.” Keep returning to the same points. Mention your name often – “Gertrude Stein” is repeated on average five times per page in her autobiography. The conventions of blogging make this easy: simply keep the “posted by Your Name” in the footer of every post and people will remember you.

I’ve already broken Rule #1, unfortunately, simply by citing this article. You see, A Good Advertisement Conceals its Strategy.

Unless, of course, I’m triple-bluffing you in a rage of stealthy cunning…