half a woman lying on her bed

She lay on her bed, curled up, dressed but resisting the day’s duties. She felt her chest rise and fall steadily and heard herself breathe not breath but words: I want to scream. Why not scream then, she wondered. She waited. Opened herself for the scream. Nothing. No scream. No energy. Nothing but heavy deep breathing. Perhaps the scream is too deep to escape.

Reluctantly she heaved herself up, tossed bathers, a towel and her laptop into a bag and walked through the late morning dawn. Long, slow strokes. Stretching her body through warm water. That will help. But help to dissolve the scream or seal it inside her?

7 thoughts on “breathe

  1. jcwinnie

    Reluctantly she heaved herself up. [Found her all purpose canvas bag and] tossed bathers, a towel and her laptop into a bag. [Something, something,] and walked into the late morning dawn. [How did she get to the pool?] Long, slow strokes. Stretching her body through [the] warm water. That will help. But help to dissolve the scream or [repress — too psychobabble] seal it inside her?

  2. Jill

    Oh, seal it inside her is much better. Thanks 🙂

  3. scott

    Maybe there ought to be places where screaming is public and sanctioned. I occassionally feel like letting out a midday holler. There ought to be primal scream public parks. One ought not to have to seal such inside.

  4. Jill

    I like roller coasters. Maybe the permission to scream is why?

    I changed “walked into the dawn. Long, slow strokes.” to “walked into the dawn, thinking of long, slow strokes” and repressed to sealed as jcwinnie suggested.

  5. Francois Lachance

    Perhpas Anne Galloway at Square Jaw Pursed Lips might have items to report on public screeming sanctions and public screeming sanctioned.
    Anne works on ubiquitous computing and social spaces.

    I do think that screaming is in the city scape I inhabit inflected by age, gender and just what is being screemed. Duration of the scream is also a factor.

    It is not the scream in and of itself that is at play in the game of sanction.
    It is the dynamic between scream and acknowledgement.

    Samething with “seal” Has a different resonance if the bag is transparent. An item may be sealed but exposed to view.
    As usual Jill/txt provokes one to be sensitive to context.

  6. the sum of my parts

    a new evolution
    i really love the way that weblogs are evolving. currently, it seems that there is a mixture of voice (1st, 3rd), non-textual elements (pictures, videos), and ìold-school bloggingî text that is coming together to create new affordances to blogging? an…

  7. MÈlange

    a new evolution
    i really love the way that weblogs are evolving. currently, it seems that there is a mixture of voice (1st, 3rd), non-textual elements (pictures, videos), and ìold-school bloggingî text that is coming together to create new affordances to blogging? an…

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