motherhood is eternal guilt

I’m off to a faculty meeting at Voss tomorrow, where all the heads of department and vice heads and pro-deans and contra-deans and office managers and whatever we all are are going to discuss things like reorganisation, success criteria for cross-disciplinary research collaboration and internationalisation. Unfortunately this involves being on a bus in the city at 8 am which in turn involves leaving home at 7.30 which I do realise is late by some peoples’ standards, but for me it means leaving home a whole hour before school starts. That means my daughter has to go to before school care, (morgen-SFO), which has happened all of twice before in her life and which had her in tears at bedtime this evening.

Of course children know from birth that mothers are suckers for tears from children who don’t want to be left at daycare of any kind. I just dropped my guard because she hasn’t done this for so long. Obviously she’ll be fine. She’s nine and a half. And she’ll spend the night with her loving (and beloved) grandmother (once she’s landed after her business meeting in another city). And I’ll be back Friday at 4 pm.

I still feel like an absolutely monstrous mother who is no doubt scarring her child for life. Oh dear. And the poor little darling…

22. March 2006 by Jill

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