i’m not blogging this

I’m not going to write this post. It’s one of those posts that cannot be written, full of things that people shouldn’t hear. Not mean things or bad things, no, not really, just uncertainties and anxieties and exhaustion and anger. Nothing that would hurt anyone but me. Have you noticed how often you can’t speak of these things for fear that speaking will change the game in ways you can’t foresee? Have you noticed how hard it is to fall asleep at night when you don’t speak? How hard you get?

I speak. I don’t speak. I hate my job. I love my job. I have a job.

08. May 2005 by Jill

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